I love it when the road in marriage is fun and pleasant—when it feels like you’re in a convertible, driving care-free along the coast as the wind tosses your hair and your favorite music is playing. These are the times when companionship is sweet and you make memories you’ll never forget.
But other times the road gets bumpy.
The twists and turns create motion sickness. Disagreements. Dissension. You’re driving winding roads on steep cliffs and it feels like you could fall off.
Sometimes we reach beautiful destinations together and celebrate the great views and the joy of unity and friendship.
And other times we can’t seem to find our way. We’re lost together. We’re driving in the car on the road of life and we’re not talking.
Or we find ourselves on completely different roads trying to find the intersection where we can meet without crashing.
Have you ever felt alone and lost in marriage?
How do we learn to live in the long stretches of marriage that cry out to God, are we there yet? When will we get there? How do we get there? I’ve found it’s in those times I must pray with perseverance, patience and hope that God will show us the way.
This blog is called Cord of 6. It’s about keeping family strong through Christ. I believe that Christ is the one who will help us be strong in Him.
But that doesn’t always mean that they are strong, right?
I never want others to presume that because my blog title is Cord of 6 that my family is always strong. Because the truth is, it’s not.
So when it’s not, I cling to the One who can make me strong in Him. Because that’s how I find peace when the road gets bumpy.
You can’t control the thoughts, perceptions and actions of others, but you can choose your actions and reactions and the way you influence your family.
I’ve found when I pray for my marriage God begins to mend some of the broken places in my heart. He helps me to see my marriage through spiritual eyes instead of my own limited perception.
And the more I focus on Him, the more my heart is settled by His peace.
I’m not a marriage counselor. I can’t tell you what will happen in your marriage or what God’s answer is for you.
All I do know is that,,,
Prayer may not make all the problems go away. Sometimes, even when we pray, it’s not always easy. Sometimes you and your spouse will both be in prayer and it seems God answers you both differently. And it can be confusing. And hard. And it can take time.
We need to have perseverance in prayer because it may take time.
Don’t get discouraged if when you start to pray you still feel lost or like the enemy is attacking.
Or maybe you’re married to an unbeliever and you’re the only one praying. Perhaps you’re struggling to live the Christian life while your spouse is against everything you do to grow closer to God.
No matter what, still we persevere in prayer.
We can trust in our relationship with God and lean into him no matter what. Even when we don’t understand.
We can find hope in the fact that God can turn things around.
You turn things around! Shall the potter be considered as equal with the clay, That what is made would say to its maker, “He did not make me”; Or what is formed say to him who formed it, “He has no understanding”? Isaiah 29:16
Clay is earth that forms a paste with water and hardens when heated or dried.
Clay is kneaded to get all the air bubbles out. The air pockets in clay will cause it to explode when it is being fired in the kiln.
Any foreign particles creates imperfections in the clay and cause it to weaken and fall apart on the wheel.
Our flesh wants to cry out for God to change our spouse first and our situation.
Before I pray, it’s important for my heart to be malleable–pliably surrendered to the hands of my potter, God. I must be willing for God to shape me.
Yet you, LORD, are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand. Isaiah 64:8
When we pray, God gives us the assurance that he hears our cries for help.
We know that it’s God’s will for our marriages to be healthy. And so we can be assured when we are praying for God’s will, He is going to hear us. And we can trust that He will guide us as we seek Him. (1 John 5:14-15)
There have been times when I’ve depended on my relationship with my husband to give me the peace that only God can give.
God keeps showing me that the peace I need can only come from Him.
I’ve also been learning that I don’t have to wait for a problem to be solved in my marriage in order to have peace.
This was a life-giving revelation to me. I don’t like problems. I don’t like conflict. And sometimes I feel like I can’t have peace unless I can figure out a solution and fix things.
But when I seek my peace in my relationship with Jesus I’m always able to find it.
Do you want to replant the hope you’ve lost in your marriage? Do you want to restore the desolate places?
I know some of you are really hurting. Some of you who read this may be in some really broken situations. My heart aches for you.
God gives each of us our own free will to choose how we treat others. He doesn’t force us to obey Him.
But our prayers can greatly impact the atmosphere in our homes.
The power of the Holy Spirit can soften hearts towards God and minister to you and your spouse.
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. Ezekiel 36:26
As this process happens God can work to restore us. And as we each become stronger in the Lord we can learn to love each other better.
I the Lord have rebuilt what was destroyed and have replanted what was desolate. Ezekiel 36:36
How has prayer helped to restore your marriage? I would love for you to share in the comments below. If you have a prayer request for your marriage, please include it in the comments and I will pray for you.
I’ve written 31 days of Mending Marriage prayers—each based upon a scripture that will help us grow in loving our spouse with grace.
I’ve created a separate mailing list for those of you who want to commit to praying for your spouse for 31 days. When you sign up you’ll receive one prayer a day covering all sorts of topics. (You can see all the topics here).
If you are currently a subscriber and would like to receive these prayers, you’ll need to sign up for them as well, since they will be going to a specific mailing list for marriage.
These prayers are meant to help you pour out your heart to your Heavenly Father asking him to mend the broken places in your marriage, and in yourself.
Sign up to receive Mending Marriage Prayers and spend 31 days seeking the Lord for His wisdom and guidance for your marriage.